Lauren’s Law: Ode to Kinder

Dear Kinder,

After all these years and memories, it’s well overdue that I write you this love letter. While most refer to you as Kinder Farm Park, you will always and forever be just Kinder to those who know and love you best.

I remember our early days together with me rolling down your hills, especially the one near the lower baseball field. That always helped me pass the time during my older brother’s games. So did your snack bar in the brown house, located in the heart of your campus. Fun Dips all around.

The only time I entered the brown house was for Green Hornets registration: field hockey, basketball and lacrosse for me. Today’s generation of kids don’t know the joy of bumping into friends and crushes during signups. However, parents, like me, do appreciate the modern convenience of online registration.

During middle school Friday night lights, you witnessed severe preteen awkwardness — braces and all. Conversations like “hey!” and “what’s up?” Then, not much else.

Later, I’d play my own field hockey or lacrosse games, attend camps and coach on your well-kept fields. One childhood lacrosse game resulted in a headline in this very paper: “Burke Scores 5 as Pistons Romp.” Thankfully, I didn’t let that news clipping go to my 11-year-old head. I can almost feel the mist tents and taste the popsicles on an oppressively hot summer day of camp.

My body still shudders thinking about the annual run around your 2.8-mile trail. Legendary Severna Park High School field hockey coach Lil Shelton made the players go around once in one direction. Then again in the reverse direction for good measure. An unsettled argument still stands for which way is the hilliest.

On glorious snow days, my siblings and other locals would trudge through the wintry mix to sled down your steep hills. After a boy broke his leg upon hitting a telephone pole, large, black tires were added for protection. Building igloos upon your playground was another favorite pastime of mine.

When the sun is upon my face, and I close my eyes, I’m in sixth grade again. Beneath my feet are white rollerblades with purple accents and blue brakes. Of course, it’s the late ‘90s. Your paved trail is practically new with few visitors.

Now as an adult, I’ll feel a warm breeze and think I’m literally floating. But I’m usually just beach cruising around your trail on my pink bike, reliving all these beautiful memories and more.

Kinder, I cherish what you were to me as a child and what you’ve become to my young family. Your playgrounds, farm animal friends and open spaces for flying kites bring us never-ending joy. No matter what, when I visit you, I can only be in a good mood. And for that, I sincerely thank you.

Love always,

Lauren

Lauren Burke Meyer is a Severna Park native who was inspired to write Lauren’s Law as a humorous play on the well-known Murphy’s Law adage: “anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”