Mediation And Divorce: A Better Way

Divorce can be a heart-wrenching experience. There are steps you can take to minimize the emotional trauma to you, your spouse and, most importantly, your children.

Mediation is a process in which impartial persons, the mediators, facilitate communication between the parties to promote resolution of all or some issues. Mediators encourage the open exchange of suggestions and ideas. They do not impose their judgment upon divorcing couples. Mediators do not decide cases. They assist parties in coming to an agreement.

Most noteworthy, the mediator does not provide legal advice. That’s what lawyers do. Attorneys, with their unique experience, may serve as qualified mediators. However, attorney-mediators must be particularly careful not to mix roles. Mediation works best when each party is represented by an attorney. It is essential to the mediation process that legal questions be addressed only by counsel.

The mediation process is private and confidential. Interpersonal disputes are best resolved in a private setting. Most divorcing couples are particularly sensitive about “open courtrooms.” The office of the mediator is often seen as a much less daunting forum than the courtroom. The mediator and those attending at the request of the mediator (appraisers, health care professionals and other experts) must maintain confidentiality and are never appropriate witnesses in a subsequent legal proceeding. Of course, any agreement resulting from mediation is not confidential and may provide the basis for proceeding with uncontested divorce and getting on with life.

With apologies to David Letterman, there are 10 reasons (at least) why mediation is preferable to litigation:

1. You may pick your mediator. Courts frown upon “judge shopping.”
   
   
2. You may pick your location. Some mediators will travel to the parties; courts and judges require that you come to them.
   
   
3. You can pick your date. Court clerks will assign you a trial date and require written postponement requests when the third trial date is reset for your first real vacation in three years.
   
   
4. The date is guaranteed; postponements of court cases for lack of judges are still all too frequent occurrences.
   
   
5. Mediation is cheaper. Litigation is more expensive.
   
   
6. Mediation is faster. Litigation is inevitably slower.
   
   
7. Mediation is participatory. Litigation is adversarial.
   
   
8. Mediation is private. The court is open to the public.
   
   
9. In mediation, the parties may participate in writing the rules. In court, they are bound by the rules of evidence and procedure.
   
   
10. In mediation, the parties fashion their own agreement. At the conclusion of litigation, an order is issued by the court, which if done properly, displeases the parties equally.
    
    

Mediation is usually relatively inexpensive, convenient and helpful in fostering cordial and productive relationships between divorcing couples. Preparation and a willingness to keep an open mind during the process are keys to success. Obviously, if you find yourself contemplating separation or divorce, you will have many questions.

Mediators (and attorneys) with specific training in family law can assist you in making informed decisions. David Diggs is experienced in family law mediation and litigation. If you need further information regarding this subject, contact The Law Office of David V. Diggs LLC, located at 8684 Veterans Highway, Suite 204, in Millersville. Call 410-244-1171 or email at david@diggslaw.com.