Four Tips On Getting Elderly Parents To Stop Driving

It’s happened again. Kathy’s 90-year-old mother, Betty, had been in another accident. She was driving to church when she misjudged a turn and ran the car off the road. Luckily, Betty was physically unharmed, but the car was totaled. After years of close calls, this was the last straw. It was time to have an uncomfortable talk about driving.

As we age, our ability to drive safely is affected by natural body changes. According to the Centers for Disease Control, age-related changes in vision, physical functioning and cognitive changes might affect some older adults’ driving abilities. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, 7,489 people ages 65 and up were killed in traffic crashes in 2021. If your loved one struggles to see, has reduced reaction time, seems confused or has fresh scrapes or dents on their car, it’s time to have a difficult discussion.

TIPS TO CONVINCE A SENIOR TO STOP DRIVING

1. Prepare a list of observations about their driving ability

Before you have the conversation, check out some helpful online resources. The American Association of Retired Persons has tips on assessing your loved one’s driving skills. When you observe your loved one as a passenger, look for red flags such as recent car accidents, tickets for moving violations and ignoring traffic laws such as stopping at red lights.

2. Approach the subject respectfully.

The most important thing when discussing giving up the keys is being respectful. You might start by saying, “I know this must be a sensitive subject, but we need to talk about your driving.” You may try framing it as a concern about safety. Then, kindly share a few problems. Emphasize that you’re not accusing them of being a bad driver. Instead, focus on their health conditions or aging-related issues that make their driving unsafe.

3. Come up with alternative transportation options

Despite unsafe driving practices, older adults still have places to go. Staying connected with friends and active in the community is essential for preventing social isolation. Reduce resistance to give up driving by creating a list of realistic transportation options. Seeing these alternatives on paper will reassure seniors that they’ll still have independence.

Some ideas to assist are to arrange a ride schedule with family and friends, take public transportation or get rides from volunteer drivers at community service organizations.

4. Be understanding and give them time to accept the changes

Convincing a senior to stop driving means asking them to make a significant change. Giving up their independence will drastically impact their quality of life, so it’s understandable that they may get upset. Give them time to accept the changes and space to work through their feelings. Because it’s such a big adjustment, it may take more than one conversation before they give up the car keys.

At Lean on Dee Senior Home Care Services, a team of compassionate caregivers provides home and personal care services for seniors and their families. Lean On Dee specializes in dementia care, offering education, resources, and respite care for families and caretakers. For more information, call 410-449-4538 or visit www.leanondee.com.