Top Five Tips to Succeed At Negotiation

Negotiation. The word itself evokes a range of emotions. Embedded in the term is the reality that the outcome is variable, and depending on the stakes, it could be incredibly costly or rewarding. Having negotiated thousands of contracts and studied the topic of negotiation extensively, I have found five fundamental traits of elite negotiators. These traits can be learned and trained to help gain a competitive edge. Whether negotiating a salary increase, the purchase of a new car or home, or even negotiating household chores with a teenager, the difference in preferred outcomes is negotiation.

Tip 1: Prepare and then prepare some more. Never enter a negotiation without exhaustive preparation. Think through the other parties’ positions and likely “wins” for them. Develop a list of questions to gain understanding of all elements of the negotiated item. Have your research, your questions, your projected objections, and your prepared offer scenarios printed or written. The most prepared party (almost) always wins!

Tip 2: Negotiate options, not positions. Negotiations commonly break down when it becomes positional. There is a feeling of being stuck and too far apart. A skilled professional will always unwind the positional trap by offering multiple options. This strategy displays the deal points aren’t singular and in relation to other variables. It also keeps the negotiation on a collaborative tone as opposed to a win/lose positional vibe.

Tip 3: Words Matter. Hollywood has made negotiation appear to be a strong-man competition when, in fact, the most skilled negotiators are extremely controlled and use words wisely to their advantage. Being polite in a negotiation is a strategy because the other party is more likely to concede to a nice person than a threatening jerk. The first set of phrases are simply “please, thank you and I apologize.” The second phrase is “fair.” The F word (fair) acts as a ground wire to neutralize an imbalanced situation. The last phrase that is helpful when positions are becoming anchored is “what if?” This phrase creates opportunity and possibility.

Tip 4: Never fall in love. I started my career in real estate as an investor and lost a deal, which I admittedly wanted very badly. As I told the story to a wise mentor, he said something to me that I will never forget: “David, the deal of the century comes along about once a week.” It wasn’t that I needed that deal; I had fallen in love and lost my power to walk away. Always keep walking away as an option. The best way to do this is to create additional options as a backup plan if the negotiation is not aligning to your desired terms.

Tip 5: Give the other party the last word. It sounds counterintuitive to a competitive negotiator, but the best of the best know that negotiations are rarely actually final. It is good business to leave another party feeling like they got a win too. It is important to know where you can concede and what is important to the other party. There is definitely a personality type that needs to get the last word, so learn how to give it to them while protecting your interest.

David Orso is a local real estate broker who has been the top agent in Anne Arundel County in total sales since 2013 with well over $1 billion and thousands of homes sold. He has a Master of Business Administration degree from Loyola College of Baltimore and honed his negotiation skills at the program on negotiation at Harvard Law School. Orso’s real estate office is in the heart of Severna Park at the corner of Riggs Avenue and Evergreen Road.